as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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