So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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