And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Randomize
