Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Randomize
