So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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