i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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