I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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