Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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