I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
we're so committed to being not committed
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
