My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
