I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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