You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
