All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
