And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
