he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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