Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
