You really coming over, don't trick.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
