The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
