i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
