I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just found puke in my bra..
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
