Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize