Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
