You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
