Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
