i was born a porn star she said
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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