I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
