Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
