i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
