i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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