Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We have so much sex to catch up on
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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