Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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