i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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