Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
