I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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