am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
