I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
did you just send me my own nude
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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