they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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