Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I have tasted many bathrooms
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize