There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
