I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
