i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
