i may or may not be watching the land before time
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
