I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
