it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
