You work out of a Hotel?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
