im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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