All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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