Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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