I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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