sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
