Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I want her autograph on my taint
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm just crazy horny about you
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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