wat bout pragnant strippers??
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm sobbing to NWA
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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