ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just sucked dick on a ferry
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize