I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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