he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My liver just had a heart attack.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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