dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
