you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I party with great urgency now.
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