rhymes with "ouble enetration"
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
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