can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
