Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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