A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
